What If You’re More Than The Things You Do?
If you’re new here, my name is Laura King and I write this weekly newsletter to help you
Find more satisfaction, fulfillment, and joy
Maximize your uniqueness
Live out your most authentic version of success
Today’s Topic: What if you're more than the things you do?
I want you to pause right now and jot down the first three things that come to mind when you think about who you are. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Now, look at what you've written. How many of those things are related to what you do - your job, your role as a parent, your hobbies?
If most or all of them are, you're not alone. This is exactly the misconception we're going to challenge. It strikes at the heart of what’s truly blocking our inner light from shining.
Sit with that for a moment. This question challenges our deeply ingrained beliefs and ignites a spark of possibility within us. It strikes at the heart of what's truly blocking our inner light from shining.
I vividly remember the moment this truth hit me like a lightning bolt. It was 2016, and I was sitting in a conference room when a speaker posed a startling question: "Who here has envisioned your funeral?"
Well, that certainly got my attention.
Over the next 90 minutes, I lost track of time as I listened and began to write my own eulogy. Morbid, you might think? Perhaps. But it forced me to confront a crucial question: What's going to matter when I die?
Will being the #1 biller in my company matter at all? Or will it be about how I treated people, loved people, encouraged them, and stayed true to my purpose?
As I wrote feverishly, the truth I had been avoiding, the whisper I'd been too afraid to acknowledge, became crystal clear: I am not what I do. I am so much more.
Here's what I wrote:
"Laura King was known for her zest for life, her love for all humans, and her radiating energy to everyone she met. If you know Laura then you know she was all about seeing you as you truly are at the soul level. She made you feel seen, heard, and loved.
Laura is survived by her husband of 65 years Brian, and their four adult children Miles William, Brody Michael, Charlie Joseph and Crosby James and 12 grandchildren. Laura was a beacon of light for her family. She loved sharing her true, authentic self on massive stages all over the world. While she loved impacting massive amounts of lives through energy and connection and experiences all over the world, what she loved most were the intimate, deep conversations with her family and friends.
Being with her children and grandchildren was the light that kept Laura going in her later years. Witnessing a smile or glance from a loved one can change the entire trajectory of the day. Those were the moments Laura lived for. She always found a way to "bring the joy" to everyday moments -- from mundane tasks like doing the dishes to dancing in public (often embarrassing her boys) to family vacations -- she made sure she enjoyed life with curiosity and the playlike nature of a child.
Early in her career, Laura set the example of the integration that could exist for purpose-driven leaders to model congruence in work, in health, in family, in spirituality, in fitness and in relationships. Laura learned and modeled self-care in her 30s and felt compelled to pay it forward and teach these strategies to others in her 40s and beyond.
Laura followed an untraditional path in her career. She started and helped grow many businesses, gave thousands of people jobs, and traveled the world spreading messages of hope, faith, and perseverance.
Laura inspired millions to wake up to the reality that they create their own reality, that you shine the brightest when you stop living someone else's version of you and step into your own weird, quirky, authentic self. We are all here to support and love one another and we are all here to heal. Laura defined success as finding the truest, highest expression of yourself as a human being and then being that in the service of others. She also loved teaching fitness classes well into her 80s (hahahaha)
Above all, Laura was committed to the mission of helping more people wake up to their lives and shine brighter. Living a Life On Purpose. Living Intentionally. That this life is really not about you at all, it's about the collective. Love for all. When you really get that, you win."
And as I wrote, the truth became clearer and clearer. My legacy, my impact, my very essence had nothing to do with my job title or my accomplishments. It had everything to do with who I am, how I love, and a life filled with service.
This exercise was a wake-up call, forcing me to confront the truth about being versus doing. We're trained to be performance-driven from an early age.
Think back to your first sports game, your grade-school report cards, or that promotion you were eyeing. We're entangled in a world where doing equates to being, a world that declares, "If you're not doing/accomplishing/striving, you're not valuable."
But what if the truth is entirely different? What if who you are, at your core, is so much more than what you do? What if your value lies not in your accomplishments, but in your very existence?
In 2016 I wasn't present for my kids or my husband as I had become obsessed with being the best marketing recruiter in the Twin Cities. I lost sight of what was truly important: those I love, those right in front of me - my husband and my little boys. And myself. I was completely out of integrity.
I was defining myself solely by my job title and my accomplishments. "Hi, I'm Laura and I'm an Executive Recruiter," I'd say at networking events, as if that summed up my entire being. But that's not who I am. That's just what I do.
Now, I want you to try something. Introduce yourself to an imaginary person, but you're not allowed to mention what you do for a living or any of your accomplishments. How would you describe yourself? What aspects of your character, your passions, your values would you share? This exercise can be eye-opening, revealing the parts of yourself that truly define who you are.
Over the next week, let these two things sink in:
You are more than what you do
Living intentionally and authentically matters
Go within, ask the questions, journal, meditate, do whatever you need to do to get in touch with the REAL YOU.
And perhaps, just perhaps, you are inspired to write your eulogy like I was in 2016.
(I re-read it every Monday morning to remind myself who I stepping into and what really matters)
You matter and you are fabulous.
Wishing you an amazing weekend! 🌟
With love,
Laura