The Be-Do-Have Principle
The Be-Do-Have principle is a powerful mindset framework that encourages people to focus on who they need to be in order to achieve their goals, rather than starting with what they want to have. It flips the traditional way of thinking, which often begins with desires and material outcomes, and emphasizes personal transformation first. Here’s how it breaks down:
Be: This stage focuses on who you need to become to achieve your desired outcome. It’s about cultivating the right mindset, qualities, and values. For example, if you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you first need to be confident, disciplined, and persistent.
Do: Once you've embodied the traits and mindset of the person you want to become, the next step is to take the actions that align with that identity. Your behaviors, habits, and daily actions will naturally reflect the qualities you've developed, driving you toward your goals.
Have: After you become the person you need to be and do the things necessary for success, you’ll ultimately have the outcomes you desire. The material rewards, relationships, or success will follow because they’re a natural result of who you are and what you consistently do.
Traditional Approach vs. Be-Do-Have
Most people operate in the reverse order: they think that if they can just have something (like wealth, success, or happiness), then they’ll finally be able to do the things they want (like travel, work less, or pursue passions), and only then will they be the person they want (happy, fulfilled, confident). But this approach overlooks the importance of internal transformation and personal growth.
The Be-Do-Have principle suggests that in order to create lasting change and reach your goals, you must start with being the person capable of achieving those things. Your identity and mindset shape your actions, and those actions lead to the results you desire.
Example of the Be-Do-Have Principle in Action
Let’s say your goal is to have a healthier lifestyle:
Be: You start by adopting the identity of a healthy person. You see yourself as someone who prioritizes health and well-being, is disciplined, and cares about physical fitness.
Do: As a person who values health, you begin to make decisions that align with that identity. You regularly exercise, eat nutritious foods, and take care of your mental health.
Have: As a result of these habits and behaviors, you’ll have a healthier body and mind, and you’ll feel more energetic and vibrant.
By focusing on who you need to become, the actions and results naturally follow. This principle is about internal alignment—when your actions are rooted in a strong, authentic identity, success is a byproduct.
Example 1: Career Advancement
Be: To advance in your career and earn a leadership role, you first need to be someone who exhibits leadership qualities. This means seeing yourself as a leader—someone who is confident, decisive, proactive, and a strong communicator.
Do: As you embody these qualities, your actions will reflect this. You’ll take initiative in your current role, mentor others, contribute to solving complex problems, and seek opportunities to lead projects. You’ll invest time in professional development, perhaps attending leadership workshops or seeking out mentors.
Have: Over time, by consistently doing these things, you’ll have the leadership position you desire, as well as the trust and respect of your colleagues. Your actions and mindset will have positioned you as a natural choice for promotion.
Example 2: Building Strong Relationships
Be: If your goal is to have deeper, more meaningful relationships, you need to first be someone who is empathetic, open, and supportive. This means adopting a mindset of kindness, trust, and emotional availability.
Do: As someone who values connection, you’ll do things that nurture relationships. You’ll invest time in listening, offering support, being vulnerable, and showing appreciation. You’ll communicate openly and be there for people during both good times and bad.
Have: As a result of these efforts, you’ll have strong, lasting relationships built on trust and mutual understanding. The bonds you create will become richer and more fulfilling because they’re rooted in genuine care.
Example 3: Personal Growth and Confidence
Be: If you want to have confidence and self-assurance, you need to first be someone who believes in their own worth and potential. This means adopting a growth mindset, where you see challenges as opportunities to learn and develop.
Do: As a confident person, you’ll do things that reinforce this belief. You’ll step out of your comfort zone, take risks, practice self-care, and push yourself to achieve new goals. You’ll also embrace setbacks as learning moments rather than failures.
Have: Over time, you’ll have a greater sense of self-confidence and resilience. You’ll feel empowered in both your personal and professional life, as your actions will have continually reinforced the belief that you are capable and worthy.
These examples highlight how powerful the Be-Do-Have principle can be in various aspects of life, from personal growth to relationships. It’s all about transforming your mindset first, which then drives the behaviors that lead to lasting change!